The Government introduced a system of “buddying” MPs with multinational companies:
David Heath of the Department of Agriculture is paired with food businesses Nestlé, Unilever, Mondeléz (formerly part of Kraft, and includes Cadbury) and Associated British Foods (owner of Primark and Kingsmill). Statoil is added to the oil companies already in touch with Vince Cable; foreign office minister Hugo Swire has been buddied with Procter and Gamble, and David Willetts with Cisco. The culture minister Ed Vaizey is paired with Telefonica (O2) and Everything Everywhere (Orange and T-Mobile), while Green adds engineering firm GKN to his list.
Here is a list of Proctor and Gamble brands:
Now, we all look forward to Mr Swire getting a lifetime supply of Fairy Liquid to clean out Ottery’s drains, though he might want to look at Aerial Stain Remover for the drains in Feniton, which are discharging effluent of a very different kind.
But if all fails, he can at least offer the residents of Feniton free samples of Pampers nappies in emergencies.