I went to a boys’ school – a rather famous boys’ school – where I made many, many friends, a lot of whom I now work with and see every day.

One of them is now CEO of the massive – and I mean massive – company in which I am a somewhat lowly sub-deputy-sales manager. But the CEO and I get on (he has even once tapped my posterior in public!).

Another one of my friends from school is the manager of a large sub-division of the firm and is always getting his picture in the newspapers (sometimes not for the right reasons) and seems very popular with staff and a lot of the customers.

Recently, we have had a bit of trouble in the company. The CEO says it is just a little blip, the sub-division manager disagrees and he says that money has gone missing and the CEO’s workers (mostly people on zero-hours contracts and often immigrants) are to blame. The CEO says no money is missing and he is cutting down the number of workers who MIGHT be tempted to steal from the company anyway, so no need to worry.

Now the divisional manager has launched a bid to oust the CEO and replace him and I have to take a side.

As if that wasn’t hard enough, one of my jobs is to control a very small section of the workforce, which has been really troublesome. For years they were (I thought) loyal to me and were always happy to do what I told them. I didn’t see them often as I am always away on sales trips, but I would turn up at their social events and smile a lot and all seemed well.

I was shocked when recently I had to re-apply for my job. This happens every few years (we would like to do away with this old custom but haven’t yet managed it) but the CEO always makes sure he butters up my workers and so it has never been a problem getting reinstated.

Imagine my shock and horror last time when last time one of my workers stood against me and seemed, for reasons I will never understand, very popular. Other workers tried it in the past and failed miserably but this one did surprisingly well.

It was a nasty shock, and I ended up having to drag my dog around the workplace and talk to the workers. I even had to cancel some of my sales trips (though, to be fair, no-one tells me much about what we are selling). I kept my job but it looked very sticky for a while I can tell you!

Now, I am in a real dilemma. The CEO wants me to back him in re-negotiating a big contract in Europe. The manager of the sub-division says it is tosh and the European client is bankrupt and we shouldn’t trade with them at all. Our workers can’t seem to make up their minds and in my little division I can’t work out what they think at all.

As if this wasn’t enough, my job will be up for re-application again soon and I have no idea who will be in charge then. If it is the CEO I will be fine. If it is the Divisional Manager and I don’t choose his side mow, I could lose my sales job and be demoted. If I can’t satisfy my workers and I am challenged again by that awful person from last time, I could even lose my job with the company completely! And not only would I lose my job, my wife would lose hers too, as she is my secretary.

So, what should I do, back one chum or the other? I really need some advice from a wise old owl here.

But could you delay publishing it for a few days – I am on a sales trip at the moment and my old Nokia phone isn’t getting a signal.

Yours sincerely,

Rupert