Having listened to various speakers making promises they would soon break, a tenant rose up to complain that on his high-rise estate the lifts were out of order more often than not, which was a serious problem for mums with prams and the disabled.

From the back of the room then rose the unmistakable figure of Michael “Tarzan” Heseltine. “WHY”, he thundered, “did not the lift attendants do something about it?”

There was a stunned silence, as half the room were unable to digest what this tall golden-maned toff was saying, while the rest were too embarrassed to correct him.

… So now, at the tender age of 82, Lord Heseltine is to be in charge of Cameron’s latest conjuring trick: the transformation of leaden council estates into golden private housing. On Sunday morning the PM tweeted: “I’ll be talking to Andrew Marr about ensuring everyone has a chance to get on in life in the next few minutes on BBC1.”

… He may look, as a shining example, to the Heygate Estate in Southwark which Labour leader Peter John sold (at a loss of around £20 million) to Australian developer Lend Lease. Around 3,000 people lived in its large and light flats, although the council’s failure to maintain in properly resulted in it looking the worse for wear. The sale to Lend Lease will result in over 2,000 private homes – which are already selling well in Singapore – but fewer than 100 will be for social renting. Mr John has just received an OBE for his services to, er, ahem.

… As with Heseltine’s lift attendants, Cameron has no idea that most tenants who rent substandard homes on poorly maintained estates do so because they can afford nothing else. Most of them are on benefits, squeezed by the Bedroom Tax, benefit caps and “sanctions” – thanks to the efforts of Iain Duncan Smith – and often one payment away from the street.

How Mr Cameron intends to give them “a chance to get on in life” by destroying their homes remains to be seen.”