Book Review – Boris Johnson “72 Virgins” (a real book by Bojo available on Amazon)

“So it turns out In 2004, Boris Johnson wrote a “book of fiction” called ’72 Virgins’.

It’s about a group of Islamic terrorists who attack Westminster, whose plot is then foiled by a bicycling Tory MP known for tousled hair, classical allusions and flapping shirt-tails.

As the story develops, the protagonist seizes the opportunity to make himself such a lauded global hero that the media will deem it absolutely futile to print the latest thing he doesn’t want his wife to discover.

Ever the cretinous glutton, with a deeply false belief in his own guile, that very subplot increased in intrigue when, within two months of publication, fiction turned fact and Johnson was sacked from the shadow cabinet after the then Tory leader, Michael Howard, judged him to have lied to the party and to the public about his extramarital affair (lying no longer seems to be a sackable offence for conservative politicians, but rather the gold standard).

This book is brimming with terms such as “alpha male,” “Islamic nutcases” and “a mega-titted six-footer”. Arabs are casually noted to have “hook noses” and “slanty eyes”; A mixed-race Briton is called “coffee-coloured”; and slurs of “pikeys” and people who are “half-caste”.

Imagine the absolute outrage if Jeremy Corbyn wrote this book?

Laura Kuenssberg would never shut up squawking about it!
The BBC would lead with it on every story & it would be front page of every tabloid rag!

But he didn’t, Johnson did, so, of course, we NEVER hear about it.

He describes French people as ‘turds’ and makes strange personal attacks on Sierra Leone.

In the final third of the book, the plot becomes rushed and there are multitudinous printing and grammatical errors, and a number of sentences that literally do not make any sense.

The novel’s attitude to women is so rampantly sexist, it is depressing. In the 20 occasions in which women enter the narrative either the narrator or a character sizes them up and down, phwoaring over, to give a few examples: “tits out”, “lustrous eyes”, “long legs”, “a mega-titted six-footer”, “loads of pretty white teeth”, “good teeth and blonde hair”, and an “unambiguously exuberant bosom”.

One Female characters comment is attributed to her “premenstrual irrationality”, there are also appearances from a “girly swot” and a woman who looks “like a lingerie model, only cleverer and, if anything, with bigger breasts”, it actually reads like it was written by a horny teenager rather than an Eton educated prime minister.

If anyone feel the need to rush out and buy this, it’s on Amazon for £7.49, however Fultons are selling 6 rolls of Andrex for £3 saving you £4.49.”

Source: Dan Lambert, Facebook