So Councillor Tom/Dick/Harry (TDH), I seem to have 200 complaints here saying you brought the council into disrepute by swearing loudly in a public meeting and causing the meeting to end at a crucial point in the votes. What do you have to say for yourself?
TDH: wasn’t me.
MO: but it was obviously you.
TDH: no, it wasn’t. It was on Zoom and you couldn’t see my face, so you couldn’t see my lips move.
MO: but TDH, old boy, your voice is so distinctive …..
TDH: let me stop you there – it could have been anyone .. there is no proof ..
MO: well, I must say that’s a relief … I wasn’t looking forward to having to deal with that one mate …
TDH: no problem, old boy. Now I have a complaint of my own.
MO: oh yes? How can I help?
TDH: I distinctly heard at least 30 people sniggering when my pals were lauding our choice for Leader, and I identified all of them as being the Opposition, every single one of them, even though I couldn’t see anyone so I couldn’t see their lips move …
MO: now that’s more like it – that’s something I can really get my teeth into! See you at the usual place tonight?