In a Monitoring Officer’s (MO) office somewhere in the Universe.

So Councillor Tom/Dick/Harry (TDH), I seem to have 200 complaints here saying you brought the council into disrepute by swearing loudly in a public meeting and causing the meeting to end at a crucial point in the votes.  What do you have to say for yourself?

TDH: wasn’t me.

MO: but it was obviously you.

TDH: no, it wasn’t.  It was on Zoom and you couldn’t see my face, so you couldn’t see my lips move.

MO: but TDH, old boy, your voice is so distinctive …..

TDH:  let me stop you there – it could have been anyone .. there is no proof ..

MO: well, I must say that’s a relief … I wasn’t looking forward to having to deal with that one mate …

TDH: no problem, old boy.  Now I have a complaint of my own.

MO: oh yes?  How can I help?

TDH:  I distinctly heard at least 30 people sniggering when my pals were lauding our choice for Leader, and I identified all of them as being the Opposition, every single one of them, even though I couldn’t see anyone so I couldn’t see their lips move …

MO:  now that’s more like it – that’s something I can really get my teeth into!  See you at the usual place tonight?

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