Choose carefully from the Local Political Sweet Shop on 4th May 2023!

Whichever way you vote on May 4 please remember to bring photo ID (see details at the bottom of this post) – Owl

From a Sweet-Toothed Correspondent:-

With our noses pressed expectantly against the candy store window, there may appear many, delicious sweet treats on offer at the Political Sweet Shop to tempt a variety of diverse tastes – but beware – some choices will seriously damage your health!

Avoid any ‘Nutty’ varieties – these are an acquired taste and contain allergenic properties that can trigger adverse bodily reactions and are notorious for causing choking hazards!

‘Blood-red-to-the-core’ lollies lost popularity, as a national best seller, some years ago and they have never been particularly favoured in rural areas, being more popular in urban conurbations. However, they look likely to make a nationwide comeback resulting from the poor selections offered in the highly-costly deep-blue luxury chocolate box collections that have been the market leader in the past few years!

Supporting authentically green, environmentally-sound products are the ‘go-to’ choices for some consumers – but some local brands of ‘Gobstoppers’, that were marketed to remain entirely green throughout consumption (a trait that made them popular and sought-after), actually in practice rapidly change colour, leaving customers ‘gobsmacked’ that they have been ‘sucked in’ by a scam, fake product, which fails to deliver what had originally been promoted during advertising campaigns?

Orange-coloured sherbets have never been front runners in the popularity stakes!  One local recipe seems far too acidic and unpalatable, with a rancid taste that usually results from an expired best-before-date! Its dominant, overpowering flavour fails to compliment the piquancy of the other more delicate, orange elements and, over many decades, it has lost its ‘zing’ and its ability to tickle the taste-buds of large numbers of mainstream consumers. However, orange sherbets can be useful, with a variety of other offerings, to ‘bolster’, ‘pad out’ and create a winning, celebratory success within a Party Bag!

Nationally, the recent front-runner has been the deep-blue, luxury, tiered chocolate box – but this has now fallen out of favour!  Many tried and ‘Trussted’ selections have now been ousted from the box, with some consumers switching to more wholesome choices (like the longer-lasting lettuce!) with better shelf-lives. Others have been found to be very costly during their manufacture and have attracted tax problems but the ‘Coffey’ flavour is, surprisingly, still included in the blue box – perhaps because it was previously considered to contain health benefits?

Over decades, the West Country fudge (made with very rich locally-farmed, clotted cream) seems to hold its position in the blue tiered box. Some local fudges are bland but one variety, although sweet on the surface, reveals a very bitter quality, with a dominant taste during consumption that overwhelms. Its sickly, gooey texture sticks consumers’ teeth together, limiting their ability to open their mouths and speak and it is difficult to remove from the palate. This over-rich product is the lead choice for deep-pocketed, self-indulgent decadents – but although it is considered detrimental to the wellbeing of the everyday customer, it will take time to see this sticky and tenacious substance disappear from the local blue box!

At present, with far too many people having to restrict their household budgets and rely on food banks – this opulent brand is unlikely to continue to be ‘the nationwide confectionery of choice’? The deep-blue box of chocolates has become unaffordable to the masses, leaving only those from wealthy, champagne-quaffing,

privileged backgrounds able to partake in its benefits! This previous, national bestseller now leaves a nasty taste in the mouth, is very hard to swallow and contains damaging allergens which can seriously harm consumer health!

Recently, independent manufacturers have brought new ideas for sweet treats to the confectionary market to tempt us with individual, unique recipes. These are marketed as entirely different to the long-established brands. There are some excellent, independently-manufactured, sweet classics that incorporate refreshingly-honest ‘zests’ that have recently lead locally in popularity. However, independent success relies on significant financial investment, a wealth of experience and full-time commitment to guarantee adequate production that has the ability to quench the market demand. In many rural, local areas these hand-made, individual ‘goodies’ are unavailable, limiting options for shoppers, who find themselves ‘stuck with’ the unpopular selections in the blue chocolate box or unappetising orange, green or multi-coloured fake products that belie authenticity, with ingredients that prove unpalatable e.g. acid drops, sherbet lemons and rhubarb (rhubarb!) and custard, which all tend to leave consumers with a sore tongue!

Some especially attractive local products previously fought hard to gain the national market, were very popular and contained the ‘Wright’ favourable ingredients – but they were ousted by large-scale Westminster manufacturers producing a last-minute, new-to- the-market, deep-blue sweetmeat that ‘Jupperdised’ the success of the locally-sourced independent brand!

Sticks of rock come packaged in different, attractively-coloured, outer wrappings – but these seaside favourites have a deeply-tattooed message emblazoned throughout (to their very core) which cannot ever be entirely erased – so be cautious that the message inside is suitable and befits your personal taste!

Roald Dahl’s fictional, confectionery inventor, Willy Wonka, devised his Golden Ticket Lottery to choose the best possible beneficiary to continue his lifetime work – but had to discount the gluttonous Augustus Gloop, the loud Mike Teavee, the privileged, spoilt brat Veruca Salt and the chewing gum fanatic, Violet Beauregarde, finally opting for Charlie Bucket who, despite great hardship, remained morally sound and kind, demonstrating an inner strength and courage.

In reality, locally on 4th May 2023 and nationally, at a later date, we will, hopefully, select some Good Eggs in the political candy store that we can all fully savour and enjoy – ones that will not get stuck in our throats, damage our teeth, destroy our roots or dislodge our fillings, resulting in face-ache and excruciating pain and costly dentistry visits to repair the damage!

Needless to say, there will be many consumers who have never and will never visit the Political Sweet Shop and select any treats, with a fairly large percentage who won’t be able to make up their minds – together with others that think that the selection process is a load of ‘Humbug’ and consider that there is a lack of mouth-watering options on offer to tempt them to enter or re-visit the Political Sweet Shop!

List of accepted forms of Voter ID

Applying for photo ID (Voter Authority Certificate)

NB No photo ID is required to vote by post

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