More on the ” hidden” Hugo Swire

A commentator reacts to the post below on Hugo Swire:

A few more points that come out of this article:

He wishes that he had been more rebellious in his youth – we wish he was more rebellious now.

He says he doesn’t understand how business works!!!

He says he liked visiting Cuba – we wish he had stayed there.

He likes telling unprintable jokes – which goes well with being one.

His sense of humour is apparently a little more sophisticated than his best joke about Napoleon’s armies being up his sleevies – but we guess not much.

He really, really wants to meet Donald Trump. His hero?

His motto: “Confuse your enemies and confound your friends.” Well he certainly confounds his constituents.

He is INCREDIBLY VAIN because thinks he is better looking than both Robert Wagner and Sam Neil (both of whom he thinks are “mothy”), and as good looking and with the physique of Ross Poldark – by which I am guessing he means 33 year old Aidan Turner (dream on, Hugo) rather than 74 year old Robin Ellis. We know which one we think he is most like.

He likes hurling abuse at cyclists, and even stranger likes being abused by them in return. (Is that the most rebellious he can get? Pity he can’t rebel against his own parties lies and destruction of democracy and British institutions.)

He likes sticking things up chickens’ bottoms.

He thinks his mobile phone has been hacked by foreign powers (presumably before he was sacked as a Foreign Office minister) – but he hasn’t asked the security services to check it or got a new one. (Can anyone check his parliamentary receipts to see how recently he has claimed for one?)

He refuses to confirm that he is law abiding.

Web page saved for posterity at
https://web.archive.org/save/https://www.politicshome.com/news/uk/politics/house/81121/unparliamentary-language-sir-hugo-swire

The hidden Hugo Swire … should perhaps stay hidden

Some choice snippets, but you really need to read the whole thing …

<strong>If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

I think it would be very useful to be able to be invisible from time to time. [Well, he’s largely managed that one in his East Devon constituency]

What inanimate object are you most attached to, apart from your phone?

I’m quite attached to my money clip because I carry it with me every day. I just wish that it had more in it! [The Swire dynasty regularly appears in the Sunday Times Rich List]

Ok…when was the last time you cried?

When I opened my bank statement, only it wasn’t with relief. [see above]

https://www.politicshome.com/news/uk/politics/house/81121/unparliamentary-language-sir-hugo-swire

Swire shows concern for (private) pensioners – no worries about the not-so-lucky?

Written Answers – Department for Work and Pensions: State Retirement
Pensions: Uprating (24 Nov 2016)

https://www.theyworkforyou.com/wrans/?id=2016-11-21.53946.h&s=speaker%3A
11265#g53946.q0

Hugo Swire: To ask the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, what
information his Department holds on the number of pensioners whose
contributions were paid prior to 1997 who are not receiving annual
increases to their private pension payments which are in line with the
retail price index.

Written Answers – Department for Work and Pensions: State Retirement
Pensions: Uprating (24 Nov 2016)

https://www.theyworkforyou.com/wrans/?id=2016-11-21.53946.h&s=speaker%3A
11265#g53947.q1

Hugo Swire: To ask the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, if he
will make an estimate of the potential cost to providers of requiring
all private pension payments, including to those pensioners whose
contributions were paid prior to 1997, to increase in line with the retail price index.

Is he thinking of retiring?

East Devon Alliance invites local politicians to Exeter health crisis rally

“To: Hugo Swire MP, Neil Parish MP, Mel Stride MP, Sarah Wollaston MP, Anne‑marie Morris MP, Peter Heaton‑jones MP, Gary Streeter MP, Geoffrey Cox MP, Kevin Foster MP, Oliver Colvile MP, Johnny Mercer MP

Cc: Jon Ashworth MP, Jeremy Hunt MP, Ben Bradshaw MP

Dear all,

As a representative of residents in East Devon I am addressing this to Devon MP’s but also to those in senior positions in parliament.

Will you be there when the National Health Service Bill (Margaret Greenwood MP) has its second reading? (By the way, that will be on 24th February 2017)

Will you back this bill? If not, why not?

Be aware: your electorate are watching. We in the East Devon Alliance are doing all we can to let them know how you vote on NHS and other healthcare issues, to counter the messages you try to get out down here that you are ‘against’ the current proposals to close community hospital beds. We know this issue is far bigger than that. We know that the 2012 Health and Social Care Act paved the way for the dismantling of the NHS. It’s taking a while for the public to wake up to what is being done, but they will.

And where is Labour? I am afraid a media blackout might be stopping us from hearing from the ‘opposition’. If you can mobilise your supporters all over the country, we will hit the headlines. Come the next election you might find there are new candidates opposing you in your previously safe seats. Or the person who gave you a run last time is out in front.

Are you prepared to continue with this programme to dismantle the NHS? Or do you have the courage to speak out and vote to reverse the changes?

Will you join us in Exeter on 3rd December to parade your support for the NHS as it was?

Please do let me know your position.

Yours sincerely,

Cllr Dr Cathy Gardner
Leader
East Devon Alliance

http://www.eastdevonalliance.org.uk/cathy-gardner/20161124/open-letter-mps-ministers-nhs-reinstatement-bill/

Dive, dive, dive Hugo …

Oral Answers to Questions – Foreign and Commonwealth Office: Topical
Questions (22 Nov 2016)

https://www.theyworkforyou.com/debates/?id=2016-11-22a.747.2&s=speaker%3A11265#g751.0

Hugo Swire: All countries of the EU, with the exception of the United
Kingdom, have resumed direct flights to Sharm el-Sheikh, which are so
vital to the Egyptian economy. What more do the Egyptian Government
have to do to persuade the Government to resume direct flights?

Beggars belief! Local Tories implicitly defend local bed cuts then put out a press release saying the total opposite!

EDDC Tories have released the following statement and press release below.

The wording of this statement seems to imply to Owl that our local Tories are 100% behind the cutting of beds and the closure of our community hospitals. Note that it takes no account of the warning bells from the King’s Fund (plans are vague, poorly costed and badly evidenced) and the UK Statistics Agency (the NHS is underfunded) – it simply offers knee-jerk pandering to a CCG shown to be not fit for purpose and (much as usual in Devon these days) with people at the top with glaring conflicts of interest.

THE STATEMENT

We have decided as a group to issue this statement on the proposed bed closures throughout Devon which we will continue to oppose in their current form. Those wishing to cause mischief are doing a great disservice to our residents as they do not offer a sustainable solution to the endemic problems the NHS faces and tinkering with the process is no solution to the root and branch reform needed. The process is being piloted in Devon and Sir Hugo Swire and Neil Parish, our MPs, are continuing the fight in Westminster as do I as the South West Board Member for the District Councils Network nationally and as a Member of Devon County Council’s Health and Wellbeing Scrutiny Committee.”

Readers will recall that Councillor Leader Diviani voted against DCC Councillor Claire Wright’s motion to “stop the clock” on the closure of Honiton hospital until its viability had been reassessed and rechecked. Councillor Leader Diviani and his fellow Tories can hardly claim to be defending our services – indeed they seem anxious for the process to be concluded as quickly as possible, including the closure of Honiton hospital.

They also state that our MPs are “fighting for us” when their voting records, lack of speeches on our behalf and watering down of a parliamentary motion shows that they are doing nothing of the sort.

To all those vulnerable people out there who will suffer from these cuts: use your vote much more wisely in council by-elections, elections and general elections.

Now, compare what they say in the paragraph above to the press release sent out below. REMEMBER, when they say THEY – they mean their own party!

THE PRESS RELEASE

STARTS

Conservatives call for second opinion on Devon NHS funding crisis treatment
ENSURE THAT BED-CUT ‘CURE’ DOESN’T DAMAGE PATIENTS

East Devon Conservatives are deeply worried about proposals from the NEW* Devon Clinical Commissioning Group to restructure hospital care in the North, East and West of the county in a bid to plug a £400 million budget shortfall over the next three years.

They believe the hospital bed closures proposed by the Devon health provider as the cure for a funding crisis may be the wrong treatment – and could have harmful side-effects for patients.

So the 37 Conservative members of East Devon District Council are sending a collective response to the CCG’s current consultation in the hope of persuading the NHS commissioning group to change its approach to tackling the immediate £100m funding gap, expected to rise to £400m by 2020.

The Conservative councillors are advising the CCG that it would be dangerous to move from a system of mostly inpatient treatment to care at home until a robust structure is in place to provide the alternative cover. Taking this step without the necessary resources in place and with no vital transition budget to call upon, could put patients at risk, they say.

Dangerous

Having studied the CCG’s report, Conservative group members were unimpressed with the strength of the argument in favour of bed closures and home care, especially because the CCG has not been able to provide accurate and meaningful financial detail or convincing trial evidence to back up its proposed Community Care Package.

They also wonder if the massive funding gap could not be closed by greater attention to efficiency savings.

And they are counselling the commissioning group not to adopt a “one-size-fits-all” approach to tackling the area’s financial ills, bearing in mind the differing demographics and age profiles of each local authority area in Devon, especially remote rural communities. Patient vulnerability and loneliness must also be addressed.

The CCG appears to favour a new model of care that has been subject to limited testing, with little hard evidence that it improves the service to patients.

The Conservative group are not convinced by the scant evidence provided after their requests for more detail and are nervous of the CCG’s reliance on a notional target of county hospital beds, regardless of variations in proven need.

Blunt instrument

They want to know more about the 80 clinicians the CCG claims to be in support of the new model. And they are sceptical of a ‘blunt instrument’ approach to treatment, especially when many elderly patients have dementia in addition to multiple clinical problems.

Finally, the Conservative members contest that many areas in East Devon appear to have a reducing stock of nursing and residential home beds. This only aggravates the situation, because these beds are often required in the short or long-term for patients stuck in hospital.

Phil Twiss, Conservative Group Secretary, said: “Some people want to boycott this consultation process – but that won’t help anyone. We believe constructive feedback is the best way.

“We all agree that bed-blocking is a serious issue and we also accept that the clinical commissioning group need to save money. The question is how should they go about it so as to deliver results without making the situation worse.

“We feel that they have the solution the wrong way round. They want to move to a care-in-the-home model at a time when the resources just aren’t there to support that model. It might be the right approach in theory, but it will only work in practice if the social care infrastructure is robust enough to take the strain – and it is not.

Panic measures

“We’re not convinced that the new model has delivered the right standard of success in trial areas and we don’t believe it can be rolled out across other parts of the county until the necessary support structure is in place. And we should not be moving to a new model as a panic measure to solve a funding shortfall that could be tackled by other means.

“For example, a lot of money can be wasted on high-cost agency staff who appear to be a short-term emergency man-power fix but all too often are relied upon as part of the workforce establishment.

“We don’t know whether the budget shortfall was perhaps caused by wasteful practices that are still in place, and so we don’t know whether the CCG could find alternative ways to save money. What we do know is that their current proposals are unconvincing and ill-advised”.

East Devon Conservatives will be responding to the CCG consultation with their views and will be calling on the commissioning group to think again.

ENDS

SO, are they for cuts or against them? A dangerous business deciding which bit is truth and which bit is post-truth!

NHS underfunded? No, just wonderful say Tory MPs

Blog comment reposted verbatim:

How ironic – on the same day that the UKSA says the figures are wrong and misleading the HoC Tory majority debates NHS funding and makes a formal statement.

In yesterdays NHS funding debate neither Neil Pariah nor Hugo Swine said anything. See

https://www.theyworkforyou.com/debates/?id=2016-11-22a.820.0&s=speaker%3A25120

But there was a vote about what the HoC wanted to say about the funding crisis. The original text was:

That this House notes with concern that the deficit in the budgets of NHS trusts and foundation trusts in England at the end of the 2015–16 financial year was £2.45 billion; further notes that members of the Health Committee wrote to the Chancellor of the Exchequer about their concerns that Government assertions on NHS funding were incorrect and risked giving a false impression; and calls on the Government to use the Autumn Statement to address the underfunding of the NHS and guarantee sustainable financing of the NHS.

However the Conservatives voted to change this to:

That this House welcomes the Government’s investment, on the back of a strong economy, of significant additional funding and resources each year for the NHS during the 2015 Parliament; notes that this settlement was frontloaded at the specific request of the NHS in NHS England’s own plan to deliver an improved and more sustainable service, the Five Year Forward View; and further notes that the NHS will receive a real terms increase in funding in each year of the Spending Review period, while the Labour Party’s Manifesto at the last election committed to only an extra £2.5 billion a year by 2020, far less than the NHS requested.

And both Neil Pariah and Hugo Swine voted for the revised text, turning a call for increased funding into a sycophantic statement about how wonderful the Government is funding the NHS.

So next time either of our MPs say how concerned they are about the NHS and how they will fight for extra funding (like Hugo Swire said in Pulman’s only yesterday) you should consider carefully whether they are really fighting for extra funding or simply paying lip service (or as we commoners might say “lying”) in order to keep your votes.

And what is Hugo Swire worried about this week? Burma and traffic noise

Politics in Burma:
https://www.theyworkforyou.com/wrans/?id=2016-11-16.53464.h&s=%22east+de

Still can’t accept that he was fired from the Foreign Office it seems

and traffic noise:

Written Answers – Department for Transport: Motor Vehicles: Noise (21
Nov 2016)

https://www.theyworkforyou.com/wrans/?id=2016-11-15.52910.h&s=speaker%3A
11265#g52910.q0

Hugo Swire: To ask the Secretary of State for Transport, what steps his
Department is taking to reduce noise emissions from (a) motorcycles, (b)
cars and (c) commercial vehicles; and what targets he has set to reduce
each such type of noise emission.

Maybe boy racers outside his Mid-Devon home or all those HGV’s for the construction traffic for basement conversions near his Central London home?

“Sacked ministers warn Theresa May: Promote us in a year or there will be ‘trouble’ “

Does this include our own dear Hugo?

Theresa May has been warned by sacked ministers that she must promote them back into Government within a year or face “trouble” in Parliament.

Senior Tories dismissed by the Prime Minister in the summer have privately warned their “loyalty” only stretches so far after being sent to the backbenches.

Some are ready to increasingly rebel over Mrs May’s grammar schools ban and Brexit priorities unless they are put back on the Government payroll soon.

The ultimatum, made in conversations with The Sunday Telegraph, is designed to make sure Mrs May makes good on indications there is a route back to the Government for those who behave.

… Some 29 ministers left the Government after Mrs May took over as PrimeMinister – a far higher number then her working majority in the House of Commons of around a dozen.

The unexpectedly brutal reshuffle saw Mrs May accused of “purging” allies of Mr Cameron and Mr Gove, who ran against her in the Tory leadership race.

At the time there were warnings that creating new enemies on the backbenches when the Tories only have a slim majority risked undermining her ability to win votes.

It is understood Tory whips and intermediaries for Mrs May’s team have let it be known there are paths back to Government for those former ministers who behave themselves.

However some have grown impatient and are warning that unless they are promoted by July 2017 they will begin to cause “trouble”.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/11/12/sacked-ministers-warn-theresa-may-promote-us-in-a-year-or-there/

Swire asks 3 parliamentary questions about furniture!

Owl wonders why, in the midst of all our troubles in East Devon, Swire has this on his mind.


https://www.theyworkforyou.com/wrans/?id=2016-11-03.51764.h&s=speaker%3A
11265#g51764.q0

Hugo Swire: To ask the Secretary of State for Business, Energy and
Industrial Strategy, what information his Department holds on changes in
the level of use of chemical fire retardants in furniture over the past
five years.

Written Answers – Department for Business, Energy and Industrial
Strategy: Fire Prevention: Furniture (11 Nov 2016)

https://www.theyworkforyou.com/wrans/?id=2016-11-03.51763.h&s=speaker%3A
11265#g51763.q0

Hugo Swire: To ask the Secretary of State for Business, Energy and
Industrial Strategy, whether his Department plans to propose amendments
to the Furniture and Furnishings (Fire) (Safety) Regulations 1988 to
reduce toxic fire retardants in furniture.

Written Answers – Department for Business, Energy and Industrial
Strategy: Fire Prevention: Furniture (11 Nov 2016)

https://www.theyworkforyou.com/wrans/?id=2016-11-03.51765.h&s=speaker%3A
11265#g51765.q0

Hugo Swire: To ask the Secretary of State for Business, Energy and
Industrial Strategy, if he will make an assessment of the potential
merits of introducing a mandatory requirement for furniture products to
carry a label stipulating the chemicals used in those products.

Swire’s was bigger than Alan Duncan’s … or was it?

Eton obviously gives some of its former pupils a very, very cruel and odd sense of humour. Here is a report from today’s Times Diary:

Sir Hugo Swire [Owl does not recognise croney titles but The Times does], the former Foreign Office Minister, was in a waspish mood at a Conservative Middle East Council reception this week.

First, he teased his successor Sir Alan Duncan, for being moved out of Sir Hugo’s former office, “Mine is larger” protested the 5 ft 6 in Sir Alan. “Everything looks bigger from your vantage point, Alam” [Sir] Hugo retorted.

He then apologised for the absence of [Sir] Nicholas Soames, who was defending grouse shooting in the Commons: “I suppose he fears that unless he puts in an appearance, the invitations might dry up”.

Ouch.”

Ha, ha, ha – so, so funny … if you are a 14-year-old at Eton …

Swire busy in London on 16 November 2016 … but not for East Devon

Doubt many people from East Devon will be interested but a few members of the LEP might attend – particularly those with nuclear and weapons interests.

Claire Wright would almost certainly have been battling to save NHS beds in East Devon if she was our MP!

“Britain after Brexit Publication Drinks Reception”

Event to be held at the following time, date, and location:

Wednesday, November 16, 2016 from 5:30 PM to 7:00 PM (GMT)

Conservative Middle East Council
55 Tufton Street
SW1P 3QL London
United Kingdom

We are pleased to invite you to celebrate CMEC’s latest publication Britain after Brexit: old friendships and new opportunities in the Middle East

CMEC Chairman

The Rt Hon Sir Hugo Swire MP KCMG

will host the event and Crispin Blunt MP, Chair of the Foreign Affairs Select Committee, and Kwasi Kwarteng MP, CMEC Vice Chairman, will offer brief remarks.

You can read the series of articles included in the publication on our website here:
https://cmec.org.uk/depth/news-analysis?page=1

Swire … working for … well, you decide

Written questions in Parliament- 25-26 October 2016


Hansard
Written Answers’ speaker:Hugo Swire
Sort by relevance Sorted by date: newest / oldest Group by person

Written Answers — Foreign and Commonwealth Office: Foreign and Commonwealth Office: Staff (27 Oct 2016)

Hugo Swire: To ask the Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs, what plans he has to increase the number of officials of his Department who work on issues related to the Commonwealth.

Written Answers — Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs: Agriculture: Subsidies (27 Oct 2016)

Hugo Swire: To ask the Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, what recent progress she has made on resolving Basic Payment Scheme claims which include common land.

Written Answers — Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs: Agriculture: Subsidies (27 Oct 2016)

Hugo Swire: To ask the Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, if she will take steps to improve the level of information provided to farmers on how claim payments under the Basic Payment Scheme are broken down.

Written Answers — Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs: Agriculture: Subsidies (27 Oct 2016)

Hugo Swire: To ask the Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, if she will consider providing bridging payments to Rural Payment Agency claimants awaiting payment after 31 March 2017.

Written Answers — Foreign and Commonwealth Office: Maldives: Commonwealth (25 Oct 2016)

Hugo Swire: To ask the Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs, if he will have discussions with the Commonwealth Secretary-General on the Maldives leaving the Commonwealth.

Written Answers — Foreign and Commonwealth Office: Commonwealth: Overseas Trade (25 Oct 2016)

Hugo Swire: To ask the Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs, what support officials of his Department are providing for the Commonwealth Trade Ministers’ meeting in London in 2017.

Written Answers — Home Office: Refugees: Calais (25 Oct 2016)
Hugo Swire: To ask the Secretary of State for the Home Department, what criteria she is adopting to select refugees from the camp in Calais for resettlement.

Written Answers — Home Office: Refugees: Calais (25 Oct 2016)
Hugo Swire: To ask the Secretary of State for the Home Department, which local authorities have agreed to relocate refugees from the camp in Calais.

Written Answers — Home Office: Refugees: Calais (25 Oct 2016)
Hugo Swire: To ask the Secretary of State for the Home Department, what assessment she has made of the age of young refugees from the camp in Calais received into the UK.

Written Answers — Home Office: Refugees: Calais (25 Oct 2016)
Hugo Swire: To ask the Secretary of State for the Home Department, what steps she is taking to pre-screen young refugees from the camp in Calais before they enter the UK.”

https://www.theyworkforyou.com

Swire still pines for the Maldives

Hansard source
(Citation: HC Deb, 25 October 2016, cW)

“To ask the Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs, if he will have discussions with the Commonwealth Secretary-General on the Maldives leaving the Commonwealth.

As the Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs, my Rt Hon. Friend the Member for Uxbridge and South Ruislip (Boris Johnson) said on 13 October, the UK is disappointed that the Maldives Government has decided to withdraw from the Commonwealth. We believe in the Commonwealth and its commitment to improving the lives of people across all its member states. It is an organisation dedicated to developing free and democratic societies, and to promoting peace and prosperity.

There are no current plans for Ministers to discuss the Maldives with the Commonwealth Secretary-General. Officials are in regular contact with the Commonwealth Secretariat.”

https://www.theyworkforyou.com/wrans/?id=2016-10-20.49594.h&s=speaker%3A

“Come and meet Sir Hugo Swire MP on 29th Oct and Speak Up for the climate”

From Christian Aid – Ottery St Mary

“Dear friends,

Here are two important items of news that we thought you might like to know about concerning Ottery – an informal talk with Sir Hugo Swire at the next Community Market (29th October) and the latest update from campaigners regarding the proposed mineral extraction at Straitgate:

Informal conversation with Sir Hugo Swire MP, 11am on Sat 29th October in

The Institute, Yonder St, Ottery St Mary

Do you feel passionate about protecting all that we love from climate change? Do you want to see our elected MP Sir Hugo Swire take action on this issue? If your answer is yes, please come to an informal conversation with Sir Hugo Swire MP over a cup of tea/coffee and the WI’s fabulous cakes at
11am on Saturday 29th October in The Institute, Yonder St, Ottery – and visit Ottery’s dynamic Community Market at the same time. All are welcome!

The conversation with Sir Hugo has been organised by Christian Aid and is supported by the local branch of the Women’s Institute, Ottery St Mary United Reformed Church, and Sustainable Ottery. It is part of the national Speak Up for the Climate week of action promoted by The Climate Coalition:

http://www.theclimatecoalition.org

Officially the national week of action finished last Saturday with nearly 300 events taking place with local MPs all over the UK. Prime Minister Theresa May and Chancellor Philip Hammond were among the MPs who participated in local constituency events. A very constructive meeting was
also held with Ben Bradshaw MP in Exeter. In Ottery we thought it would be good to wait till our monthly Community Market (organised by the United Reformed Church) which typifies Ottery’s community spirit, our support for local produce and crafts, and our commitment to more sustainable shopping and living.

There is no strict agenda for this event. Christian Aid will briefly kick things off and ask Sir Hugo to press his government to draw up a national plan for reducing carbon emissions (in line with the Climate Change Act) –
as this is what The Climate Coalition has been calling for throughout the week of action nationally. After that, we will all be free to share with Sir Hugo our personal reasons for taking climate change seriously – and what we would like him to do about it, both locally and nationally. Some of us will be moved by the impact of climate change on the world’s poorest communities.

Others may want to talk about the impact on bees and other wildlife, our coastline, our farming, or our health. Some of us may be worried about floods in Ottery; others may be excited about the opportunities to scale up renewable energy or to promote cycling and cleaner transport. Whatever
climate change means for you, come and share it with your local MP on 29th October.

This is the start of a conversation with Sir Hugo which we hope will be ongoing over the coming years. And by the way, no technical knowledge of climate change science is required! If you know you can come, please contact
Helen Collinson:

helen.hcollinson90.freeserve.co.uk

(mob 0790 394 7782)

and please mention to her any issues or questions broadly related to climate change which you’d particularly like to raise with Sir Hugo. Alternatively, feel free to just turn up on the day!”

Hugo Swire, Pratts and Beefsteak

In days gone by (2006) when Hugo Swire was in opposition, debating funds for the BBC with the then Minister Tessa Jowell, a report by Simon Jenkins, political commentator:

” … Tessa Jowell has been lucky in her opponents. Yesterday she made a statement to the Commons about the new white paper on the BBC. …

… Then up sprang Ms Jowell’s opposite number, Hugo Swire, the Tory MP and a scion of – Eton! St Andrews! The Grenadier Guards! His clubs are White’s, Pratt’s and the Beefsteak. It seems unlikely that he dashes home from these establishments to catch EastEnders.

In our egalitarian times there are some MPs who would hesitate to mention all this, but Mr Swire is made of the stuff that built the Empire. Sadly his vocabulary is made from the stuff that built the Wobbly Bridge over the Thames. It shakes alarmingly, and is an object of scorn.

Why had the white paper had the same gestation time as an elephant? Why not? I thought. Would it have been preferable if it had the same gestation period as, say, a wombat? He swerved at a new metaphor. The paper was meant to be a springboard. “But it is not so much a launching pad as a holding pen!”

Nowadays, “is it credible to believe that a compulsory tax on the ownership of a television set [Mr Swire pronounces every single letter: ‘tell-eh-viss-ee-on’] is the right way to fund our national broadcaster?”

At this point a Labour MP, goaded beyond endurance, shouted “Drivel!” Mr Swire was undaunted. “Will the BBC Trust have the capacity to clip the wings of Auntie?” he asked, and we had a vision of the old lady rushing round while trustees, or perhaps Mr Swire himself, pursued her with shears.

He moved on to the notion of selling Britain abroad and to the British. “The chancellor wants to see a flagpole in every garden; is there now not a danger that this will be followed by a Union Jack on every TV aerial in the land?”

He might have got away with this, but he had to follow it by saying “Jesting apart!”

When did anyone last say that? That was jesting? Labour MPs laughed merrily. The BBC brass, sitting, anxious, in the gallery, began to relax.

“The bill for the BBC is higher than the GDP of Mongolia!” he announced, to tucks of laughter from almost everyone.

That’s not surprising. Mongolia is a very poor, yurt and yoghurt-intensive country. Britain is 20 times bigger, we live in houses, and can afford to eat mango flavoured yoghurt while watching our excellent TV service.”

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2006/mar/15/media.politicalcolumnists

How long do our MPs actually sit in the House of Commons?

Answer: not long at all. And MPs have no obligation to attend any sittings unless they are whipped to do so.

Mondays 2.30-10.30pm

Tuesdays and Wednesdays 11.30am-7.30pm

Thursdays 9.30am-5.30pm

Sitting Fridays 9.30am-3pm
(There are only 13 “sitting Fridays” in this Parliament)

Commons Hansard: Sittings of the House

http://www.parliament.uk/about/faqs/house-of-commons-faqs/business-faq-page/

MPs (such as Neil Parish) who sit on committees have slightly more work, though his committee has no current scheduled meetings arranged:

http://www.parliament.uk/business/committees/committees-a-z/commons-select/environment-food-and-rural-affairs-committee/

If you want to see exactly what is happening day by day here is the daily diary of Parliamentary activities:

http://calendar.parliament.uk/

The website of the Conservative Middle East Council, of which Hugo Swire is Chairman, does not give details of its meetings:

https://cmec.org.uk/

Has anyone noticed …

… that Hugo Swire only seems to visit his constituency on Fridays, crams as many photo ops in as many Tory places and tweets as possible then … that seems to be it till the next Friday.

Claire Wright is here every day, including weekends, battling for the NHS, schools, highways, the environment, planning, flooding …

No wonder Mr Swire bans her from meetings on her ward issues – on a Friday! It must worry him a lot.

At least we know where he was on 17 October: