The hidden Hugo Swire … should perhaps stay hidden

Some choice snippets, but you really need to read the whole thing …

<strong>If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

I think it would be very useful to be able to be invisible from time to time. [Well, he’s largely managed that one in his East Devon constituency]

What inanimate object are you most attached to, apart from your phone?

I’m quite attached to my money clip because I carry it with me every day. I just wish that it had more in it! [The Swire dynasty regularly appears in the Sunday Times Rich List]

Ok…when was the last time you cried?

When I opened my bank statement, only it wasn’t with relief. [see above]

2 thoughts on “The hidden Hugo Swire … should perhaps stay hidden

  1. Another response: “What habit really annoys you in other people?
    I’m afraid I’m becoming more and more of a middle-aged cliché now, the slightest thing drives me into wild rages. My latest campaign – I’m the Honorary President, Patron and sole member – is called PfP: Pavements for Pedestrians. Nothing incenses me more than the whole of London, thanks to Boris, being turned over to one huge cycling lane. And then, despite that, cyclists cycling on the pavement straight at me. I scream abuse at them and tell them to get off and they hurl abuse back at me and it makes me feel much better.”

    Pavements for pedestrians, eh? Well it is good to know that he will be supporting Sidford residents in future then. I am sure he will agree with us that lorries are far more dangerous on pavements than bicycles?

    Could we invite our MP, Sir Hugo Swire, to write to Planning Central at EDDC objecting to lorries (and other vehicles with four wheels, not two) driving on the pavement in School Street, Sidford? Planning application no 160669/MOUT applies.


  2. A few more points that come out of this article:

    He wishes that he had been more rebellious in his youth – we wish he was more rebellious now.

    He says he doesn’t understand how business works!!!

    He says he liked visiting Cuba – we wish he had stayed there.

    He likes telling unprintable jokes – which goes well with being one.

    His sense of humour is apparently a little more sophisticated than his best joke about Napoleon’s armies being up his sleevies – but we guess not much.

    He really, really wants to meet Donald Trump. His hero?

    His motto: “Confuse your enemies and confound your friends.” Well he certainly confounds his constituents.

    He is INCREDIBLY VAIN because thinks he is better looking than both Robert Wagner and Sam Neil (both of whom he thinks are “mothy”), and as good looking and with the physique of Ross Poldark – by which I am guessing he means 33 year old Aidan Turner (dream on, Hugo) rather than 74 year old Robin Ellis. We know which one we think he is most like.

    He likes hurling abuse at cyclists, and even stranger likes being abused by them in return. (Is that the most rebellious he can get? Pity he can’t rebel against his own parties lies and destruction of democracy and British institutions.)

    He likes sticking things up chickens’ bottoms.

    He thinks his mobile phone has been hacked by foreign powers (presumably before he was sacked as a Foreign Office minister) – but he hasn’t asked the security services to check it or got a new one. (Can anyone check his parliamentary receipts to see how recently he has claimed for one?)

    He refuses to confirm that he is law abiding.

    Web page saved for posterity at


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