An Easter treat … not to be taken seriously, of course

From a correspondent:

Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.

Posted by

East Devon Watch

Posted on

4 Apr 2015

Posted under

Democracy, EDDC, Transparency

Scrutiny: one to file away for the next council

Which, with any luck, will have many more Independent councillors prepared to scrutinise decisions of the council demicratically and transparently:

“12. Petitions asking for officers to give evidence

If your petition contains more than 750 signatures your petition may ask for a senior council officer to give evidence at a public meeting about something for which the officer is responsible as part of their job.

Your petition may ask the officer to explain progress on a particular issue or to explain the advice given to the Leader and/or councillors to enable them to make a particular decision. The petition must relate to the officer’s job and cannot relate to their personal circumstances or character.

The evidence will be given at a public meeting of the council’s Overview and Scrutiny Committee and not at a meeting of the Council. The officer giving evidence at the meeting may be accompanied by another officer, technical expert or a representative from a partner agency. You will be given details of the meeting so that you can attend. The Committee meetings are normally held in public, but the Committee has the option to exclude the press and public from any part of the meeting that discusses confidential information. If the Committee does exclude the press and public you will also have to leave the meeting. If possible you will be given the opportunity to present your petition first. If it is likely that the press and public will be excluded from the whole or any part of the meeting you will be notified of this and given the reason(s) for this when we give you the details of the meeting. You should be aware that the committee may decide that it would be more appropriate for another officer to give evidence instead of any officer named in the petition – for instance if the named officer has changed jobs. The committee may also decide to call the Leader or relevant councillor to attend the meeting. Only the Committee will ask questions at this meeting, but you will be able to suggest questions you would like them to ask by contacting the Democratic Services Manager (by telephone 01395 517541 or Team number 01395 516546 or e-mailing dvernon@eastdevon.gov.uk) by 4.00 pm three working days before the meeting.”

http://eastdevon.gov.uk/council-and-democracy/committees-and-meetings/petitions/petitions-asking-for-officers-to-give-evidence/