“PROFESSOR Stephen Hawking has discovered the densest thing in the known universe.
The world’s most famous theoretical physicist said the super-dense black hole was located in the centre of London and looks like a six foot tall weasel.
Unveiling his discovery, Hawking said: “It sucks in facts and then crushes them instantaneously to the point where they may as well never have existed.
“I still don’t how it could possibly have got there. No-one does. There’s no reason for it to exist in its current position.
“It’s as if the universe is just being spiteful.”
He added: “It’s also the first black hole that appears to be wholly owned by private health care providers.“